Interested in registering a domestic partnership in California? Read this first:
Provisions governing domestic partnerships are found in the California Family Code http://www.sos.ca.gov/dpregistry/
Meet Someone Now
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
LGBTQ Youth Shelter
The Ali Forney Center is the nation’s largest organization dedicated to homeless LGBT youth. AFC currently provides eight residential sites offering emergency shelter and longer-term housing, and additionally provides two drop-in centers which offer medical care, mental health treatment, HIV prevention, testing and treatment, housing and benefit assistance, and job training and placement services. The mission of the Ali Forney Center is to help homeless LGBT youth be safe and become independent as they move from adolescence to adulthood. Ali Forney was a queer youth who was murdered on the streets in 1997, when there was no safe shelter for LGBT youth in NYC.
Learn more and visit their website http://www.aliforneycenter.org/
Learn more and visit their website http://www.aliforneycenter.org/
Friday, August 14, 2009
Medical Decisions for Gay Partners
I wanted to share a little information that might help, in case you ever find yourself in a medical emergency situation with your spouse. I'm not sure that this is available outside of California, but you can pick up the form at any Kaiser hospital. The form is called "Advance Health Care Directive" and it only needs to be signed by two witnesses. My partner and I had ours notarized, to play it safe. This form comes in a wallet size version as well, to tell paramedics who is in charge of your medical decisions if you were found unconscious. We made copies of the original and placed them with other family members as well, in case they make it to the hospital first. You can also designate a second person to make decisions on your behalf if one needs to be made immediately and you have not arrived yet.
Yes, it is a pain in the a** that we have to provide so much paperwork, but this might help. After 16 years together, we are willing to make a huge scene in the hospital if anyone even dares question one of us.
I hope this helps.
Tony
Yes, it is a pain in the a** that we have to provide so much paperwork, but this might help. After 16 years together, we are willing to make a huge scene in the hospital if anyone even dares question one of us.
I hope this helps.
Tony
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Gay to Straight Therapy?
The American Psychological Association declared last week that mental health professionals should not tell gay clients they can become straight through therapy or other treatments.
In a resolution adopted on a 125-to-4 vote by the APA’s governing council, and in a comprehensive report based on two years of research, the 150,000-member association put itself firmly on record in opposition of so-called “reparative therapy” which seeks to change sexual orientation.
No solid evidence exists that such change is likely, says the report, and some research suggests that efforts to produce change could be harmful, inducing depression and suicidal tendencies. Read the full story at http://www.365gay.com
----------------------------------
All I can say to this is DUH!!
In a resolution adopted on a 125-to-4 vote by the APA’s governing council, and in a comprehensive report based on two years of research, the 150,000-member association put itself firmly on record in opposition of so-called “reparative therapy” which seeks to change sexual orientation.
No solid evidence exists that such change is likely, says the report, and some research suggests that efforts to produce change could be harmful, inducing depression and suicidal tendencies. Read the full story at http://www.365gay.com
----------------------------------
All I can say to this is DUH!!
Monday, August 10, 2009
Gay Teen Suicide
Trust me when I say "Your life is worth living", no matter how bad it seems now. Do you feel alone, isolated, and generally worthless? I made it through my "teenage" years alone with no one to talk to, but you don't have to. The Trevor Project has many resources and people to talk to, free! Click on the Trevor Project link to the left and talk to someone now!
Tony http://twistedpride.com
Tony http://twistedpride.com
Gay's Religious Identity
Hmmm!
Where does that put me in the scheme of things? I consider myself a Christian because I believe in God and Christ. However, I believe that the Bible is a work of fiction and written by men who wanted to control the greater population. I am not an atheist, because I believe in God. Does this make me an agnostic or am I just confused?
I do adhere to the 10 commandments, I just can't swallow most of the Bible (I have read several different versions).
My religious friends (Mormon, Jewish, Muslim, Catholic) say that they love me and will not judge me, because that is God's job. These same friends still believe that I am going to hell though, because of what the Bible says. This sounds like a contradiction to me.
?
This was my response to an article I read at http://365gay.com
Where does that put me in the scheme of things? I consider myself a Christian because I believe in God and Christ. However, I believe that the Bible is a work of fiction and written by men who wanted to control the greater population. I am not an atheist, because I believe in God. Does this make me an agnostic or am I just confused?
I do adhere to the 10 commandments, I just can't swallow most of the Bible (I have read several different versions).
My religious friends (Mormon, Jewish, Muslim, Catholic) say that they love me and will not judge me, because that is God's job. These same friends still believe that I am going to hell though, because of what the Bible says. This sounds like a contradiction to me.
?
This was my response to an article I read at http://365gay.com
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Crossing the Hate Speech Line
Our constitution protects freedom of speech. Is that line crossed when it includes physical violence, or when it hurts someones feelings? Can I sue my neighbor for calling me "Fag", or do I have to wait until he hits me over the head with a shovel?
Freedom of Speech
Freedom of speech in the United States is protected by the First Amendment to the United States Constitution and by many state constitutions and state and federal laws. Criticism of the government and advocacy of unpopular ideas that people may find distasteful or against public policy, such as racism, are generally permitted. There are exceptions to the general protection of speech, however, including the Miller test for obscenity, child pornography laws, and regulation of commercial speech such as advertising. Other limitations on free speech often balance rights to free speech and other rights, such as property rights for authors and inventors (copyright), interests in "fair" political campaigns (Campaign finance laws), protection from imminent or potential violence against particular persons (restrictions on Hate speech or fighting words), or the use of untruths to harm others (slander). Distinctions are often made between speech and other acts which may have symbolic significance. Efforts have been made to ban flag desecration, for example, though currently that act remains protected speech.
When do you think this right's line is crossed?
When do you think this right's line is crossed?
Friday, August 7, 2009
International Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce
The International Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce (IGLCC) is pleased to unveil the results of the first edition of the International Business Equality Index. The Index is a measurement of the performance of multinational corporations in relation to Diversity and Inclusion issues specifically focusing on Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) communities in the countries where they operate. The leading corporations are BT Group, followed by IBM and The Dow Chemical Company. The announcement was made at a press conference during the closing of the IGLCC Second Annual Congress in Copenhagen.
The corporations participating in this year’s Index are: AMR (the parent company of American Airlines, Inc. and American Eagle), BT Group, Cisco Systems, The Dow Chemical Company, IBM, ING, Intel, KPMG, Kraft Food, Merck, Novartis, Philips, SAP, TNT and UBS. They represent 1.7 million employees in 227 countries and sales of USD 800 Billion a year.
Read the full story at http://www.ilga-europe.org/
The corporations participating in this year’s Index are: AMR (the parent company of American Airlines, Inc. and American Eagle), BT Group, Cisco Systems, The Dow Chemical Company, IBM, ING, Intel, KPMG, Kraft Food, Merck, Novartis, Philips, SAP, TNT and UBS. They represent 1.7 million employees in 227 countries and sales of USD 800 Billion a year.
Read the full story at http://www.ilga-europe.org/
Shelter your children?
I agree with JarinAmin...
As a Jehovah's Witness growing up, I was sheltered from the "real world" and had little to no interaction with peers because they were "bad association". I was taken out of the public school system around 5th grade and home-schooled through high school. Because of this, it was very difficult to understand the "real world" when I finally went off on my own. Needless to say, I found myself very ignorant on a plethora of topics and still struggle with my viewpoints to this day.
Taking a child out of reality may do some irreversible harm to their social skills....
Tony
This is in response to an article I read about on-line gay high school at http://www.365gay.com/news/online-gay-friendly-high-school-launching-in-january/
As a Jehovah's Witness growing up, I was sheltered from the "real world" and had little to no interaction with peers because they were "bad association". I was taken out of the public school system around 5th grade and home-schooled through high school. Because of this, it was very difficult to understand the "real world" when I finally went off on my own. Needless to say, I found myself very ignorant on a plethora of topics and still struggle with my viewpoints to this day.
Taking a child out of reality may do some irreversible harm to their social skills....
Tony
This is in response to an article I read about on-line gay high school at http://www.365gay.com/news/online-gay-friendly-high-school-launching-in-january/
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Gay Boy Scouts?
I'm a little curious about this subject. Does anyone know about the Boy Scout's of America policies? Do they now allow members of the LGBT community? Were you a member and were you chastised or kicked out? If you have a story, we would like to hear about it. Please leave a comment if you have information or a story.
Thanks!
Thanks!
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Burundian Homosexuals Suffer Under New Anti-Gay Law
A story brought to you by http://voanews.com/
The Voice of America is among the world’s most trusted sources of news and information.
Homosexuals in Burundi say that their lives have been marked with increased discrimination and fear following the East African country's move to ban homosexual practices. Burundi officially passed the law criminalizing homosexuality in April this year.
The interviews conducted by the advocacy group Human Rights Watch documents the difficulties of being a gay or lesbian in Burundi, including instances of sexual violence, family rejection, police intimidation, and now the daily possibility of imprisonment.
Seventy-seven countries in the world have laws against homosexuality, many of them in Africa.
Read the full story here http://www.voanews.com/english/2009-08-03-voa31.cfm?rss=human%20rights%20and%20law
The Voice of America is among the world’s most trusted sources of news and information.
Homosexuals in Burundi say that their lives have been marked with increased discrimination and fear following the East African country's move to ban homosexual practices. Burundi officially passed the law criminalizing homosexuality in April this year.
The interviews conducted by the advocacy group Human Rights Watch documents the difficulties of being a gay or lesbian in Burundi, including instances of sexual violence, family rejection, police intimidation, and now the daily possibility of imprisonment.
Seventy-seven countries in the world have laws against homosexuality, many of them in Africa.
Read the full story here http://www.voanews.com/english/2009-08-03-voa31.cfm?rss=human%20rights%20and%20law
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Colors of the Rainbow Flag
Did you know?
The original flag had eight stripes from top to bottom: pink (sexuality), red (life), orange (healing), yellow (sunlight), green (nature), turquoise (magic), indigo/blue (serenity), and violet (spirit). Within a year, the flag had shed two of its stripes—pink and violet. According to Gilbert, they "ran out of pink dye." The violet stripe was later taken out to create an even number of stripes on the flag.Since, many variations of the flag have been created. For instance, a black stripe is added to some symbolizing those lost to AIDS. There are also variations to represent bisexual people, bears and others.
LGBTQ Youth Summer Camp
I found a great resource for LGBTQ youth and I thought I would share it with you. I have added this link to the Gay Resources and Support section.
http://www.camptentrees.org
http://www.camptentrees.org
If You Can Marry, Should You?
From the Nolo.com Marriage & Living Together Center. Copyright 2000 Nolo.com, Inc.
Added a new link today from http://www.civillywedd.com/
If same-sex marriage is ever legalized, you and your partner will need to decide whether marriage is right for you. Here are some things to think about before you pop the question.If you have children or hope to raise a family, marriage is probably the right option. Married couples by law have equal rights to raise their children, as well as equal obligations of support. In a divorce, both parents can seek visitation and custody, and if one parent dies the other one steps right in as the primary legal parent. It is nearly impossible to make these sorts of arrangements absent a legal marriage.Marriage isn't a prerequisite for owning property together, but if you get married, in most situations in most states your property will be jointly owned regardless of who pays for it. This is the reverse of the presumption that applies to unmarried couples. Getting married may be the most efficient way of establishing a property merger -- though if keeping things separate is more to your taste, you will have to sign a prenuptial agreement to avoid the joint ownership presumptions of a legal marriage.In most states, each married spouse's earnings are owned by the two of you, and if the marriage breaks up -- regardless of who's at fault -- you each generally get half of everything you've accumulated. By contrast, if you are unmarried, your property is co-owned only if you have an agreement to that effect; likewise for debts and obligations. Divorcing couples are also entitled to demand alimony if the marriage doesn't last, without the need for any explicit contract providing for post-separation support.Every marriage requires a formal ceremony, and every marital separation requires some kind of formal court action, and quite often the help of a lawyer. Unmarried couples can break up informally, on their own terms.Absent a legal marriage, a couple needs to sign several agreements to create even a partial framework of protection in the event of death, and certain tax benefits are forever denied to unmarried couples. If you are married, however, the surviving spouse generally inherits all the property if the partner dies without a will. At death, a bequest from one spouse to another is tax free, regardless of its size.Transfers of property upon dissolution of the relationship are also tax free for legally married couples, but not for unmarrieds.Marriage can bestow a bevy of important benefits, including military or Social Security benefits, health care, and nursing home coverage. Marriage may also qualify you for unpaid leave from your job under the Family Leave Act. But watch out -- a married person's income could disqualify a spouse from receiving Social Security, welfare, or medical benefits she'd receive if she was unmarried.A legal marriage is the only reliable method of providing a foreign lover with the privileges of immigration to this country, when he doesn't qualify under work or other provisions of the Immigration Act.If you are ever allowed to make this difficult decision, first decide whether you fall into one of the got-to-marry or better-not-marry situations. Raising kids, courting a foreign lover, or facing a serious illness, for example, generally favors a marriage (unless it disqualifies you for Medicaid), whereas getting saddled with your partner's debts or losing Social Security benefits probably favors a no vote.If you don't fall into either extreme, take a close look at the marital property rules for your particular state, evaluate the benefits given your personal situation, and get a good sense of what being married would do for you financially. Then consider whether being married feels right for both of you emotionally. If the answers come back positive for both of you, then proceed, but consider creating a prenuptial agreement if any aspect of the traditional marriage structure doesn't meet your needs. If the impact of marriage feels unduly negative for one or both of you, however, hold off. The push for legalizing same-sex marriage isn't likely to make marriage mandatory. http://nolo.com Copyright 2000 Nolo.com, Inc.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Religion and Murderous Hate Crimes
More people have killed in the name of "Religion" or "God" than any other motive on the planet and have done so since the beginning of the human race. I know a ton of very good "religious people" who would agree with me. It makes me sick to my stomach to even put the words "God" and "Religion" in the same sentence. There is nothing wrong with people worshiping in his/her own way and sharing their views with others, until it crosses the line. That line is crossed when they start campaigning to take away human rights from other people. Not only do they attempt to take away rights, they attempt to kill certain groups to "cleanse" our society. Hitler comes to mind.
Winds are shifting?
This past Saturday we went to my niece's wedding with 150 people in attendance. About 90% of the guest list were in their early 20's and some still in High School. The other 10% were mostly over 40, including us (well almost 40 :) ).
It was very interesting to observe people's reactions to 2 gay men together at a str8 wedding. While most of the older crowed stared and whispered, the younger crowd did not even seem to notice us at all. It may just be that they were too busy partying, but I would like to think that the younger generation are less ignorant than their parents.
It was a wonderful wedding and we felt very comfortable attending. After almost 16 years together, it was a little sad not being able to attend our own wedding. However, we see hope in the younger generation and maybe someday that will be us exchanging vows.
Cheers!
It was very interesting to observe people's reactions to 2 gay men together at a str8 wedding. While most of the older crowed stared and whispered, the younger crowd did not even seem to notice us at all. It may just be that they were too busy partying, but I would like to think that the younger generation are less ignorant than their parents.
It was a wonderful wedding and we felt very comfortable attending. After almost 16 years together, it was a little sad not being able to attend our own wedding. However, we see hope in the younger generation and maybe someday that will be us exchanging vows.
Cheers!
Domestic Partnership Woes
What a pain in the a** this is. My partner and I are registered in California as domestic partners, because we thought it would help. Instead, it created loop-holes that apply to everything we try to do. It is better than nothing, but still not as powerful as a "marriage license". We still had to register medical power's of attorney, because a domestic partnership can be contested. We had to file bankruptcy in 2006 and were required to file separately (doubling the cost), because we were not "married". We are required to file State taxes as "married", but still file "single" on our federal returns, which raises our accountant costs because of the added paperwork. I am disabled and would qualify for assistance, if not for my spouses income. If it benefits local, county, state, or federal interests then we are considered "spouses"., but if its for our benefit we are told "you are not married" thus treated as separate. Crazy!
Marriage or civil union? I don't really care what they call it, as long as it is legally recorded and recognized as the same, countrywide.
Marriage or civil union? I don't really care what they call it, as long as it is legally recorded and recognized as the same, countrywide.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Gay Youth follow up
We added a new link this morning for LGBTQ youth support. The mental health of children is extremely important, so we did not want this resource to go un-noticed. Please take a minute and visit this blog http://queeryouthmentalhealth.wordpress.com/ and pass it on to others who may find the information helpful.
Tony
Tony
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Gay Marriage in California
I guess we missed the "window" of opportunity, however we are pleased that some couples are equal under the law. We have been together for almost 16 years and have talked often about getting married. Timing is everything, so we will just sit and wait until the right moment arrives. Congratulations to all the "legally married" gay couples in California.
If you are interested in our story, visit us at http://twistedpride.com/
Bob and Tony
If you are interested in our story, visit us at http://twistedpride.com/
Bob and Tony
Friday, July 31, 2009
Gay Youth
For some reason there are some people that realize they are gay late in life. I myself do not understand how this happens, nor will I try to explain it.
I knew that I was gay at a very young age, even as far back as the third grade. When I look back at my childhood, certain things are blocked and some are as vivid as the sun outside my window.
The encounters and experiences I remember most are the ones that haunt my adult life to this day.
I would like to pass on this bit of advice for parents who may have children that appear to be "Different" or "Not Normal":
Be careful what you and others say around your kids, I'm not talking about 4 letter words, that's just common sense.
It is very important for parents to teach their children right from wrong. However, keep in mind that your child is an "Individual" and will have his/her own opinions and ideals. You may hope that your child will share your faith and worship at your church. You may hope that your child will follow in your footsteps as an athlete, an attorney, a doctor., etc.,. You may hope that your child will marry the opposite sex like you did.
The fact is: Your child will be who they want and do what they want, hopefully following your example of honesty, kindness and basic human goodness.
Some kids, like myself, know at a very young age that he/she is gay. Imagine knowing this as a child and thinking you are going to hell and going to lose your entire family.
Put yourself in your child's shoes before you make comments that could destroy their lives. A simple comment such as "quit acting gay" can give your kid a complex. Not only a complex, but it just may lead to a suicide. Do you really want to be responsible for your own child's death?
You may think that you are just doing "God's Will", but remember, your child may not agree with your opinion about religion, so don't shove it down his/her throat. After all, I am talking about a very impressionable child that could become severely depressed based on things that you say.
I knew that I was gay at a very young age, even as far back as the third grade. When I look back at my childhood, certain things are blocked and some are as vivid as the sun outside my window.
The encounters and experiences I remember most are the ones that haunt my adult life to this day.
I would like to pass on this bit of advice for parents who may have children that appear to be "Different" or "Not Normal":
Be careful what you and others say around your kids, I'm not talking about 4 letter words, that's just common sense.
It is very important for parents to teach their children right from wrong. However, keep in mind that your child is an "Individual" and will have his/her own opinions and ideals. You may hope that your child will share your faith and worship at your church. You may hope that your child will follow in your footsteps as an athlete, an attorney, a doctor., etc.,. You may hope that your child will marry the opposite sex like you did.
The fact is: Your child will be who they want and do what they want, hopefully following your example of honesty, kindness and basic human goodness.
Some kids, like myself, know at a very young age that he/she is gay. Imagine knowing this as a child and thinking you are going to hell and going to lose your entire family.
Put yourself in your child's shoes before you make comments that could destroy their lives. A simple comment such as "quit acting gay" can give your kid a complex. Not only a complex, but it just may lead to a suicide. Do you really want to be responsible for your own child's death?
You may think that you are just doing "God's Will", but remember, your child may not agree with your opinion about religion, so don't shove it down his/her throat. After all, I am talking about a very impressionable child that could become severely depressed based on things that you say.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Gay and Religion
Interesting point of view from a CBS news blog reader:
Homophobia & Religious Extremism by Grant MacDonald
When one studies civilization and finds that the Irish people are 60,000 years old; 54,000 years older than the Jews/Palestinians; Egypt or Greece and that the myth of Catholicism or Christianity is a mere 2009 years old; one soon realises that there is little evidence to prove any of the cross related bogus elements of that cult. In the year 300 AD when Emperor Constantine, who to some was the first pope; went on to fabricate Christianity - a fantasy - which turned out to be one of the most hateful & evil concoctions ever perpetrated on the world. The Vatican supported Hitler and religion is responsible for more corruption and violence in the world. Pope Ratzinger was involved in the Nazi youth. The Pope & Vatican with its blatant witchcraft related to the bible and its hateful beliefs; tries to rule with extreme prejudices against a world ? that may fall victim to religions' absolute evil. To think of Matthew Sheppard choking on his own blood after being savagely beaten; virtually sanctioned by the church ... is beyond comprehension ? yet is the same as boys being bullied into suicide; most likely being supported by their parents? religious beliefs.
What ever happened to ? "Love Your Fellowman?? Perhaps the evil preachers should be told to take their cult out of America. Didn't Thomas Jefferson say that church and state should be separated by a wall and it's written in the Constitution that there must be separation of church and state. Bigotry and hatemongering against gays should be banned.
Tell them to take that cross and shove it where the sun don't shine ... and pay their taxes along the way before they take that cross down forever ... with its final station; extinction. It is written; so therefore it shall be?
We are the chosen people? Such crap. United States is supposedly fighting for democracy? It is suppressing gay rights and following an extremist religious & bigoted family values path according to a basic cult riding roughshod over the rights of gay people. Canada and Britain are more civilized with its military and basic dignity. We must respect that these fine dignified gentlemen ? His Excellency Governor Schwarzenegger, The Honorable Attorney General Jerry Brown, His Excellency Mayor Gavin Newson, Assemblyman Tom Ammiano & The Honorable Rep. Barney Frank (D) who is personally openly gay ? are trying to guarantee equal rights and reflect the respect shown to all; as stated in the American Constitution. To see the religious lunatics manipulate government and our lives ? is shameful.
This bogus religious filth should be banned. It exists as a tax exempt structure which discriminates against human rights. The pope, bishops and mormons are cult members promoting discrimination against minorities. That bogus black book called the bible should be banned. Religion and the churches should now be exposed as a bigoted structure that gets away with hate mongering. Love between two guys or girls existed long before these cults existed. By enjoying their tax exempt status and benefits from the state ... it also puts them at the mercy of America; to be forced to adhere to the human rights laws. Religion is thriving like a cancerous growth on society that should be stopped in its tracks; outlawed & banned.
Homophobia & Religious Extremism by Grant MacDonald
When one studies civilization and finds that the Irish people are 60,000 years old; 54,000 years older than the Jews/Palestinians; Egypt or Greece and that the myth of Catholicism or Christianity is a mere 2009 years old; one soon realises that there is little evidence to prove any of the cross related bogus elements of that cult. In the year 300 AD when Emperor Constantine, who to some was the first pope; went on to fabricate Christianity - a fantasy - which turned out to be one of the most hateful & evil concoctions ever perpetrated on the world. The Vatican supported Hitler and religion is responsible for more corruption and violence in the world. Pope Ratzinger was involved in the Nazi youth. The Pope & Vatican with its blatant witchcraft related to the bible and its hateful beliefs; tries to rule with extreme prejudices against a world ? that may fall victim to religions' absolute evil. To think of Matthew Sheppard choking on his own blood after being savagely beaten; virtually sanctioned by the church ... is beyond comprehension ? yet is the same as boys being bullied into suicide; most likely being supported by their parents? religious beliefs.
What ever happened to ? "Love Your Fellowman?? Perhaps the evil preachers should be told to take their cult out of America. Didn't Thomas Jefferson say that church and state should be separated by a wall and it's written in the Constitution that there must be separation of church and state. Bigotry and hatemongering against gays should be banned.
Tell them to take that cross and shove it where the sun don't shine ... and pay their taxes along the way before they take that cross down forever ... with its final station; extinction. It is written; so therefore it shall be?
We are the chosen people? Such crap. United States is supposedly fighting for democracy? It is suppressing gay rights and following an extremist religious & bigoted family values path according to a basic cult riding roughshod over the rights of gay people. Canada and Britain are more civilized with its military and basic dignity. We must respect that these fine dignified gentlemen ? His Excellency Governor Schwarzenegger, The Honorable Attorney General Jerry Brown, His Excellency Mayor Gavin Newson, Assemblyman Tom Ammiano & The Honorable Rep. Barney Frank (D) who is personally openly gay ? are trying to guarantee equal rights and reflect the respect shown to all; as stated in the American Constitution. To see the religious lunatics manipulate government and our lives ? is shameful.
This bogus religious filth should be banned. It exists as a tax exempt structure which discriminates against human rights. The pope, bishops and mormons are cult members promoting discrimination against minorities. That bogus black book called the bible should be banned. Religion and the churches should now be exposed as a bigoted structure that gets away with hate mongering. Love between two guys or girls existed long before these cults existed. By enjoying their tax exempt status and benefits from the state ... it also puts them at the mercy of America; to be forced to adhere to the human rights laws. Religion is thriving like a cancerous growth on society that should be stopped in its tracks; outlawed & banned.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Gays Discharged from Military
I think congress needs to find job's for the men and women that have been dismissed from the military under the DADT policy. It is difficult to acquire a good state and federal job, or even a county job, if you have a less than honorable discharge.
These men and women not only lose their jobs, they lose their esteemed service records as well. Everyone who serves in the military is a Hero to me and should be celebrated, regardless of who they have sex with.
These men and women not only lose their jobs, they lose their esteemed service records as well. Everyone who serves in the military is a Hero to me and should be celebrated, regardless of who they have sex with.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Bastard Club
Have you ever felt like a Bastard, becuase you lost your family when you came out of the closet? I did, so I designed a shirt to wear, lol. Want one?
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Gay in Japan
Brought to you by http://japanvisitor.com
Vagueness, blurring of lines, ambiguity, possibility: these are some of the clichés that tend to spring to the Western mind when addressing the topic of sexuality in Japan. How much of it is wishful and how much of it is cultivated by Japanese themselves is debatable. It is a fact that samurai were pederasts, that kabuki is a theater of cross dressing, that to Westerners many Japanese boys and men - physically and/or behaviorally - seem to exhibit typically 'feminine' traits: all leading to the common impression of outsiders that Japan must be a basically gay
friendly society.
Unfortunately for gay Japanese men, it is not necessarily so. The issue on which gayness founders in Japan is marriage. Traditionally, getting married is seen not so much as the next step after falling in love, but more as a duty to maintain the family name. Any claim that sexual preference makes marriage impossible is seen as ‘selfish’ and is to be sacrificed to the demands of duty. Like most of Asia, Japan is a highly conformist society, and refusing to marry is a mark of egregious nonconformity. Being openly gay in Japan only rubs the fact of this nonconformity in, making for an environment where gay Japanese men rarely venture out of the closet - at least before night falls.
Vagueness, blurring of lines, ambiguity, possibility: these are some of the clichés that tend to spring to the Western mind when addressing the topic of sexuality in Japan. How much of it is wishful and how much of it is cultivated by Japanese themselves is debatable. It is a fact that samurai were pederasts, that kabuki is a theater of cross dressing, that to Westerners many Japanese boys and men - physically and/or behaviorally - seem to exhibit typically 'feminine' traits: all leading to the common impression of outsiders that Japan must be a basically gay
friendly society.
Unfortunately for gay Japanese men, it is not necessarily so. The issue on which gayness founders in Japan is marriage. Traditionally, getting married is seen not so much as the next step after falling in love, but more as a duty to maintain the family name. Any claim that sexual preference makes marriage impossible is seen as ‘selfish’ and is to be sacrificed to the demands of duty. Like most of Asia, Japan is a highly conformist society, and refusing to marry is a mark of egregious nonconformity. Being openly gay in Japan only rubs the fact of this nonconformity in, making for an environment where gay Japanese men rarely venture out of the closet - at least before night falls.
Gay's and the Church
A story from http://365gay.com/
Some of the fears of the anti-gay movement are based on assumptions that have nothing to do with what we’re actually working towards. How do we explain ourselves in a way that people who are so far outside the LGBT culture can understand?
I mentioned on Wednesday that I think part of the fear of the gay rights movement comes from looking at rights like poker chips, with only so many that can be parceled out.
I don’t know how to change that viewpoint except to let time take its course – get married and let people notice that 20 years later straight couples are still allowed to do so as well.
In way, though, Brown is correct in thinking that, as the rest of the population becomes more comfortable with the LGBT community, a few – a very few – of what he currently thinks of as rights may be curtailed. And they are all in the “your right to swing your arm ends where my nose begins” category.
Yes, more public schools may start teaching tolerance of their LGBT students. I think creating a safe learning atmosphere for all students is a reasonable goal for a school system.
If a parent believes that homosexuality is wrong, that should be taught at home and in church, just as other religious principles should be.
Suggesting that schools shouldn't demand respectful treatment of their LGBT students – or straight students with LGBT parents – is equivalent to objecting when schools teach that girls have the right to go to calculus class without being sexually harassed along the way.
Insisting on respect for all students isn’t something that Brown and friends are going to like, and though I understand that having a longstanding cultural privilege taken away causes anxiety, I feel like this belongs pretty firmly in the “suck it up and deal” category.
How, though, do we make the anti-gay contingent understand that teaching tolerance is not the same thing as “teaching homosexuality”? All too many people really believe that teaching children that there is nothing wrong with being gay is the same thing as teaching them to be gay.
While researching for this piece, I saw more than one blog claim that public schools are going to require children to attend fisting workshops – or have already.
I think we can all agree that fisting should be an elective, can’t we?
But it does seem to be an honest anxiety of the anti-gay movement: That somehow demanding tolerance and the right to live openly is just the first step of a plan to turn straight people gay.
From our point of view, that’s silly. How do we explain that in a way that they can accept and understand?
In my correspondence with Brown (and yes, Dr. Brown, I owe you an e-mail), it became clear that he sees his demonstrations at Pride to be in some way equivalent to the Pride events themselves.
Since a protest of a gay event is essentially a recruiting drive – stop this misguided thing you’re doing and come join us – yes, I can see that there might be some anxiety if one assumes that a Pride event is asking the same thing.
How do we explain to the anti-gay movement that the overwhelming majority of people in the LGBT community don’t think you can turn someone gay?
We wouldn’t run a recruiting drive because we don’t think one would work. How do we get the frightened people on the other side to understand that?
I think the “When did you choose to be straight?” answer may work when you’re using it with someone who is totally, unwaveringly straight. But, as the “ex-gay” industry shows, there are people in the anti-gay movement who are desperately fighting against unwanted same-sex urges.
We see those people as people who were born gay, bi, or transgendered and are, perhaps sadly, fighting their true natures. As far as I can tell, they see themselves as people who were meant to be straight, who have somehow failed in having those urges at all, and who will fail even worse if they give into them.
Personally, I think it’s the fear of giving in to those “bad” urges that fuels a lot of the anger that seems to be a part the anti-gay movement. It’s the Yoda principle: Fear turns to anger; anger to hatred.
To someone who’s protesting at a Pride celebration because he’s fighting what he may see as evil – and difficult to resist – desires, maybe the happy, rainbow-painted faces do look like they’re part of a recruiting drive. How do we convince him that the Altoids float full of hot guys in Speedos means “Hooray!” and not “Get over here…”?
I’m not saying that it’s our job to make other people like us so that please maybe they’ll give us some rights.
But it is in our best interest to find, if we possibly can, a way of communicating what we really think in a way they can understand. And we need to be able to do so compassionately enough that the other side feels ready to listen.
I don’t have an answer. Maybe there isn’t one – not understanding us keeps fuel on the fire, and there are plenty of people who don’t want it to go out. But I don’t want to believe that about most people.
And that’s why, at least for now, I will try to keep up my correspondence with Michael Brown. There has to be a way to communicate, even with people who seem to be so different.
-----------------
Tony:
Our Constitution was created to protect all of us, thus the reason for "Separation of Church and State". It is sad to see that the "Churches" have more political clout than the law does, but it has always been this way.
I propose a DADT policy for all religions that wish to cause harm on other people. I don't care if someone hates me because I am gay, however I do care if they wish to hurt me based on that alone.
I am more concerned about the children growing up in households with this kind of hatred. Do you know how it feels to be only 11 years old and thinking you are going to hell because you are gay? It sure puts a damper on your future outlook and shapes your every day life well into adulthood.
Thank goodness for modern technology; Internet savvy kids will at least have a chance to know that they are not alone.
We are not going to change church doctrines that are written in stone, however we can change the minds of people by the way we present ourselves in public.
Side note: Next time someone tells you that a gay pride parade is disgusting, direct their attention to Mardi Gras, where all (gay and str8) are being promiscuous in the public streets.
Some of the fears of the anti-gay movement are based on assumptions that have nothing to do with what we’re actually working towards. How do we explain ourselves in a way that people who are so far outside the LGBT culture can understand?
I mentioned on Wednesday that I think part of the fear of the gay rights movement comes from looking at rights like poker chips, with only so many that can be parceled out.
I don’t know how to change that viewpoint except to let time take its course – get married and let people notice that 20 years later straight couples are still allowed to do so as well.
In way, though, Brown is correct in thinking that, as the rest of the population becomes more comfortable with the LGBT community, a few – a very few – of what he currently thinks of as rights may be curtailed. And they are all in the “your right to swing your arm ends where my nose begins” category.
Yes, more public schools may start teaching tolerance of their LGBT students. I think creating a safe learning atmosphere for all students is a reasonable goal for a school system.
If a parent believes that homosexuality is wrong, that should be taught at home and in church, just as other religious principles should be.
Suggesting that schools shouldn't demand respectful treatment of their LGBT students – or straight students with LGBT parents – is equivalent to objecting when schools teach that girls have the right to go to calculus class without being sexually harassed along the way.
Insisting on respect for all students isn’t something that Brown and friends are going to like, and though I understand that having a longstanding cultural privilege taken away causes anxiety, I feel like this belongs pretty firmly in the “suck it up and deal” category.
How, though, do we make the anti-gay contingent understand that teaching tolerance is not the same thing as “teaching homosexuality”? All too many people really believe that teaching children that there is nothing wrong with being gay is the same thing as teaching them to be gay.
While researching for this piece, I saw more than one blog claim that public schools are going to require children to attend fisting workshops – or have already.
I think we can all agree that fisting should be an elective, can’t we?
But it does seem to be an honest anxiety of the anti-gay movement: That somehow demanding tolerance and the right to live openly is just the first step of a plan to turn straight people gay.
From our point of view, that’s silly. How do we explain that in a way that they can accept and understand?
In my correspondence with Brown (and yes, Dr. Brown, I owe you an e-mail), it became clear that he sees his demonstrations at Pride to be in some way equivalent to the Pride events themselves.
Since a protest of a gay event is essentially a recruiting drive – stop this misguided thing you’re doing and come join us – yes, I can see that there might be some anxiety if one assumes that a Pride event is asking the same thing.
How do we explain to the anti-gay movement that the overwhelming majority of people in the LGBT community don’t think you can turn someone gay?
We wouldn’t run a recruiting drive because we don’t think one would work. How do we get the frightened people on the other side to understand that?
I think the “When did you choose to be straight?” answer may work when you’re using it with someone who is totally, unwaveringly straight. But, as the “ex-gay” industry shows, there are people in the anti-gay movement who are desperately fighting against unwanted same-sex urges.
We see those people as people who were born gay, bi, or transgendered and are, perhaps sadly, fighting their true natures. As far as I can tell, they see themselves as people who were meant to be straight, who have somehow failed in having those urges at all, and who will fail even worse if they give into them.
Personally, I think it’s the fear of giving in to those “bad” urges that fuels a lot of the anger that seems to be a part the anti-gay movement. It’s the Yoda principle: Fear turns to anger; anger to hatred.
To someone who’s protesting at a Pride celebration because he’s fighting what he may see as evil – and difficult to resist – desires, maybe the happy, rainbow-painted faces do look like they’re part of a recruiting drive. How do we convince him that the Altoids float full of hot guys in Speedos means “Hooray!” and not “Get over here…”?
I’m not saying that it’s our job to make other people like us so that please maybe they’ll give us some rights.
But it is in our best interest to find, if we possibly can, a way of communicating what we really think in a way they can understand. And we need to be able to do so compassionately enough that the other side feels ready to listen.
I don’t have an answer. Maybe there isn’t one – not understanding us keeps fuel on the fire, and there are plenty of people who don’t want it to go out. But I don’t want to believe that about most people.
And that’s why, at least for now, I will try to keep up my correspondence with Michael Brown. There has to be a way to communicate, even with people who seem to be so different.
-----------------
Tony:
Our Constitution was created to protect all of us, thus the reason for "Separation of Church and State". It is sad to see that the "Churches" have more political clout than the law does, but it has always been this way.
I propose a DADT policy for all religions that wish to cause harm on other people. I don't care if someone hates me because I am gay, however I do care if they wish to hurt me based on that alone.
I am more concerned about the children growing up in households with this kind of hatred. Do you know how it feels to be only 11 years old and thinking you are going to hell because you are gay? It sure puts a damper on your future outlook and shapes your every day life well into adulthood.
Thank goodness for modern technology; Internet savvy kids will at least have a chance to know that they are not alone.
We are not going to change church doctrines that are written in stone, however we can change the minds of people by the way we present ourselves in public.
Side note: Next time someone tells you that a gay pride parade is disgusting, direct their attention to Mardi Gras, where all (gay and str8) are being promiscuous in the public streets.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Navy: Murder charge filed in gay seaman’s death
Story from http://365gay.com
(San Diego) The U.S. Navy says a sailor has been charged in military court with murder and other offenses in the shooting death of a gay San Diego seaman.
Officer Jonathan Campos of Lancaster, Calif., was charged Thursday in connection to last month’s fatal shooting of Seaman August Provost of Houston.
Provost was shot multiple times as he stood guard at Camp Pendleton on June 30. The 29-year-old’s family believes the shooting may have been a hate crime. The family says Provost complained of being harassed about his sexuality in the days before his death.
Navy officials have rejected those claims and say there is no record of Provost filing a harassment report.
They say Campos, a 32-year-old gas system technician, is being held at the brig and is cooperating with investigators.
-------------------------------------
Interesting. How was he supposed to file a harassment report without breaching the DADT policy? The armed forces have a sexual harassment protection standard, but does it include everyone?
Now that his sexuality has come to light, will he still get a proper military burial, or will he get a dis-honorable discharge even after death?
I guess we are going to wait to see what the Navy does, I just hope they take the families feelings into consideration before they turn this into a huge media fiasco.
Either way this is a shame and I thank Provost for protecting and dying for my freedom.
Sigh...
(San Diego) The U.S. Navy says a sailor has been charged in military court with murder and other offenses in the shooting death of a gay San Diego seaman.
Officer Jonathan Campos of Lancaster, Calif., was charged Thursday in connection to last month’s fatal shooting of Seaman August Provost of Houston.
Provost was shot multiple times as he stood guard at Camp Pendleton on June 30. The 29-year-old’s family believes the shooting may have been a hate crime. The family says Provost complained of being harassed about his sexuality in the days before his death.
Navy officials have rejected those claims and say there is no record of Provost filing a harassment report.
They say Campos, a 32-year-old gas system technician, is being held at the brig and is cooperating with investigators.
-------------------------------------
Interesting. How was he supposed to file a harassment report without breaching the DADT policy? The armed forces have a sexual harassment protection standard, but does it include everyone?
Now that his sexuality has come to light, will he still get a proper military burial, or will he get a dis-honorable discharge even after death?
I guess we are going to wait to see what the Navy does, I just hope they take the families feelings into consideration before they turn this into a huge media fiasco.
Either way this is a shame and I thank Provost for protecting and dying for my freedom.
Sigh...
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Gay Entrepreneurs
A story brought to you by http://gayuknews.com :
A major new study released today has revealed that Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT)-owned businesses are optimistic for growth over the next twelve months. More so than their heterosexual counterparts, LGBT-owned businesses have reported that seeking opportunities in new markets will be a key driver to growth.
For the first time, Business Link’s Diverse Business Confidence Index identifies variations in how the recession is affecting London’s small businesses by sector, business type and business ownership (gender, Black, Asian & Minority Ethnic (BAME), Deaf and disabled).
The majority of LGBT-owned businesses (85%) reported that they have plans to grow in the next year. Half of all LGBT businesses have targeted new markets as a means to growth, compared with just 44 per cent of their heterosexual counterparts. Launching new products was also a key target for LGBT businesses, with an impressive 39 per cent having firm plans to come to market with a new product or service.
When examining the impact of the recession as a whole, the LGBT businesses mirror the rest of London’s small business sector.
Patrick Elliott, chief executive of Business Link in London, said, “This Index gives an unparalleled insight into how London’s LGBT-owned small businesses are impacted by, and responding to, the recession.
“We’re seeing a very positive message from most sectors of the market right now, and LGBT businesses are no different. There’s a great deal of optimism around growth prospects over the coming months, and according to the Index LGBT-owned businesses seem clearer than other sectors on how they’re going to achieve that. That ambition is translated into broadening horizons and looking at new markets, as well as significant effort put into developing new products and services.
“We regularly survey our clients on how they’re managing through the recession and we’re seeing a clear trend emerge of a sector that is refusing to get bogged down in the doom and gloom.”
Mr Elliott continued, “The recession is affecting businesses in different ways - the analysis gained from this Index will be essential to our planning so that we can better tailor our support and advice to them.
“We’re working with businesses every day on activities such as developing detailed business plans, building financial skills, drawing up effective marketing plans and building on their network of contacts. Through our Business Advisers, our business health check service and hosting events and workshops, we provide tailored and practical help to small businesses looking for a way out of the recession,” he added.
A major new study released today has revealed that Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT)-owned businesses are optimistic for growth over the next twelve months. More so than their heterosexual counterparts, LGBT-owned businesses have reported that seeking opportunities in new markets will be a key driver to growth.
For the first time, Business Link’s Diverse Business Confidence Index identifies variations in how the recession is affecting London’s small businesses by sector, business type and business ownership (gender, Black, Asian & Minority Ethnic (BAME), Deaf and disabled).
The majority of LGBT-owned businesses (85%) reported that they have plans to grow in the next year. Half of all LGBT businesses have targeted new markets as a means to growth, compared with just 44 per cent of their heterosexual counterparts. Launching new products was also a key target for LGBT businesses, with an impressive 39 per cent having firm plans to come to market with a new product or service.
When examining the impact of the recession as a whole, the LGBT businesses mirror the rest of London’s small business sector.
Patrick Elliott, chief executive of Business Link in London, said, “This Index gives an unparalleled insight into how London’s LGBT-owned small businesses are impacted by, and responding to, the recession.
“We’re seeing a very positive message from most sectors of the market right now, and LGBT businesses are no different. There’s a great deal of optimism around growth prospects over the coming months, and according to the Index LGBT-owned businesses seem clearer than other sectors on how they’re going to achieve that. That ambition is translated into broadening horizons and looking at new markets, as well as significant effort put into developing new products and services.
“We regularly survey our clients on how they’re managing through the recession and we’re seeing a clear trend emerge of a sector that is refusing to get bogged down in the doom and gloom.”
Mr Elliott continued, “The recession is affecting businesses in different ways - the analysis gained from this Index will be essential to our planning so that we can better tailor our support and advice to them.
“We’re working with businesses every day on activities such as developing detailed business plans, building financial skills, drawing up effective marketing plans and building on their network of contacts. Through our Business Advisers, our business health check service and hosting events and workshops, we provide tailored and practical help to small businesses looking for a way out of the recession,” he added.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Lateisha Green Verdict - Hate Crime
A news release from http://glaad.org/ :
New York, NY, July 17, 2009 – The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) today responded to the verdict in the trial involving the killing of Lateisha (Teish) Green. Green, a 22-year-old African American transgender woman, was shot and killed on November 14, 2008 in Syracuse, N.Y. Today a jury found 20-year old Dwight Delee guilty of manslaughter in the first degree as a hate crime.
"Today's verdict brings justice for Lateisha Green, but it can never heal the immense loss her family has experienced," said Jarrett Barrios, incoming President of the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD). "We join Lateisha Green's family in mourning her tragic death and honoring her legacy, and we call on the media to spotlight the pervasive violence our community continues to face across the nation.”
Today's verdict is the first hate crime conviction for the death of a transgender person in New York. Dwight Delee was found guilty of manslaughter in the first degree as a hate-crime based on his perception of Lateisha Green’s sexual orientation.
GLAAD Senior Media Field Strategist Andy Marra has been on the ground throughout the trial in Syracuse, N.Y. working closely with Lateisha Green’s family, numerous media outlets and alongside our sister organizations the Transgender Legal Defense & Education Fund and the Empire State Pride Agenda. Marra worked to ensure that all media coverage of this case was fair, accurate and inclusive.
Following the verdict Lateisha Green's family released this statement:
"Teish, a beautiful girl. A wonderful daughter. A brave soul. Teish was all of these things despite the adversity that regularly tried to weigh her down and overshadow her love of life. She was taken away from us too soon. All it took was one bullet.
"A bullet from a rifle that pierced her lungs and heart. And it took this one mere bullet to end Teish's life because she happened to be a transgender woman. We have spent months waiting for this day to come.
"8 long months that have kept our family captive to our fears, sadness and anger. Afraid to leave our homes, sad to have lost Teish and angry that we couldn't prevent this from happening to our little girl. But today, the jury delivered a verdict that will end most of the horrors experienced by our family and friends.
"The jury convicted Dwight Delee of murdering Teish in cold blood. They found him guilty of targeting Teish simply because of her difference. And the jury has made it clear that any loss of life in our city and county because of anti-gay and anti-transgender bias is unacceptable and wrong. justice has been done.
"But we will never get to see Teish ever again. She will forever live in our hearts and minds. And it is our duty to share her story so that Teish's memory will be kept alive. We do this so this series of painful events will never happen again to any other person because they are different.
"Our family and friends will continue to talk about Teish so others may know the love and support that every child deserves regardless of their differences. We want to thank everyone who stood behind us and gave our family strength during such difficult times. The overwhelming amount of support has meant so much to us. We want to close by saying life is precious. Teish knew that and that's why she would tell everyone here to be brave. To be authentic and true to yourself. And Teish would give a beautiful and bright smile to everyone here. Thank you."
New York, NY, July 17, 2009 – The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) today responded to the verdict in the trial involving the killing of Lateisha (Teish) Green. Green, a 22-year-old African American transgender woman, was shot and killed on November 14, 2008 in Syracuse, N.Y. Today a jury found 20-year old Dwight Delee guilty of manslaughter in the first degree as a hate crime.
"Today's verdict brings justice for Lateisha Green, but it can never heal the immense loss her family has experienced," said Jarrett Barrios, incoming President of the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD). "We join Lateisha Green's family in mourning her tragic death and honoring her legacy, and we call on the media to spotlight the pervasive violence our community continues to face across the nation.”
Today's verdict is the first hate crime conviction for the death of a transgender person in New York. Dwight Delee was found guilty of manslaughter in the first degree as a hate-crime based on his perception of Lateisha Green’s sexual orientation.
GLAAD Senior Media Field Strategist Andy Marra has been on the ground throughout the trial in Syracuse, N.Y. working closely with Lateisha Green’s family, numerous media outlets and alongside our sister organizations the Transgender Legal Defense & Education Fund and the Empire State Pride Agenda. Marra worked to ensure that all media coverage of this case was fair, accurate and inclusive.
Following the verdict Lateisha Green's family released this statement:
"Teish, a beautiful girl. A wonderful daughter. A brave soul. Teish was all of these things despite the adversity that regularly tried to weigh her down and overshadow her love of life. She was taken away from us too soon. All it took was one bullet.
"A bullet from a rifle that pierced her lungs and heart. And it took this one mere bullet to end Teish's life because she happened to be a transgender woman. We have spent months waiting for this day to come.
"8 long months that have kept our family captive to our fears, sadness and anger. Afraid to leave our homes, sad to have lost Teish and angry that we couldn't prevent this from happening to our little girl. But today, the jury delivered a verdict that will end most of the horrors experienced by our family and friends.
"The jury convicted Dwight Delee of murdering Teish in cold blood. They found him guilty of targeting Teish simply because of her difference. And the jury has made it clear that any loss of life in our city and county because of anti-gay and anti-transgender bias is unacceptable and wrong. justice has been done.
"But we will never get to see Teish ever again. She will forever live in our hearts and minds. And it is our duty to share her story so that Teish's memory will be kept alive. We do this so this series of painful events will never happen again to any other person because they are different.
"Our family and friends will continue to talk about Teish so others may know the love and support that every child deserves regardless of their differences. We want to thank everyone who stood behind us and gave our family strength during such difficult times. The overwhelming amount of support has meant so much to us. We want to close by saying life is precious. Teish knew that and that's why she would tell everyone here to be brave. To be authentic and true to yourself. And Teish would give a beautiful and bright smile to everyone here. Thank you."
Friday, July 17, 2009
Has "sex" died in your relationship?
The key is communication as is always true in any relationship. Approaching our 16th year and our 40's does play a role in our sex life; I speak from experience. Stress, death of a loved one, money, and a basic feeling of unattractiveness can play a major role in a couples sex life.
Opening the lines of communication can greatly improve your empathy towards your partners reason for being "not interested". If you are both stressed out for the same, or for different reasons, talking about it seems to heal fears or anxiety. Lust plays a huge role when we first meet someone or first start a relationship, then we change (our bodies, we mature).
Change the subject! Shake it up a bit! Talk about something new!
Last week, I found some vacation pictures that we took when we first met in 1994. I ordered Chinese food and bought some beer and bingo. Not everyone drinks beer or has pictures like we do, but you do have a common interest that brought you together. These common interests can spark the romantic flame, just don't get caught up in the day to day bull.
Bottom line: Talk to your partner about it!
If your relationship was based on sex, then it will not last.
Opening the lines of communication can greatly improve your empathy towards your partners reason for being "not interested". If you are both stressed out for the same, or for different reasons, talking about it seems to heal fears or anxiety. Lust plays a huge role when we first meet someone or first start a relationship, then we change (our bodies, we mature).
Change the subject! Shake it up a bit! Talk about something new!
Last week, I found some vacation pictures that we took when we first met in 1994. I ordered Chinese food and bought some beer and bingo. Not everyone drinks beer or has pictures like we do, but you do have a common interest that brought you together. These common interests can spark the romantic flame, just don't get caught up in the day to day bull.
Bottom line: Talk to your partner about it!
If your relationship was based on sex, then it will not last.
Hate Crime Law's
Do we really need more hate crime laws? It seems to me that all people, not just minorities should be included in these laws. Yes, certain groups have been targeted throughout history, but shouldn't everyone have "equal protection" under the law.
A violent crime is just that, a "violent crime", does it really matter what kind of person the victim is? Those who commit violent crimes on another human being should be punished period. I guess it all comes down to "intent" or "motive" behind the crime, which to me doesn't make any sense. Evil people will always be evil and no law is going to deter them from doing harm to others, even a law with stiffer penalties. A "protected federal group" should include all Americans, not just a select few.
Example: There are groups that hate Americans and try to kill us because we are "Americans". Do you think an international "hate crime law" introducing harsher penalties for these groups is going to deter them from harming us?
On the other hand, I do endorse anti-discrimination laws, to ensure that ALL people are treated equal under the law.
What are your thoughts?
A violent crime is just that, a "violent crime", does it really matter what kind of person the victim is? Those who commit violent crimes on another human being should be punished period. I guess it all comes down to "intent" or "motive" behind the crime, which to me doesn't make any sense. Evil people will always be evil and no law is going to deter them from doing harm to others, even a law with stiffer penalties. A "protected federal group" should include all Americans, not just a select few.
Example: There are groups that hate Americans and try to kill us because we are "Americans". Do you think an international "hate crime law" introducing harsher penalties for these groups is going to deter them from harming us?
On the other hand, I do endorse anti-discrimination laws, to ensure that ALL people are treated equal under the law.
What are your thoughts?
Thursday, July 16, 2009
The word "Gay"
The word "Gay" and it's meaning keeps evolving and I'm certain it will continue to do so. I came across the definition and an interesting story behind the word and thought I would share it with you; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay happy reading.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Gay Mentor's
When I came out, I was not so fortunate. I was sheltered from most of the world by my parents and was confined to an "inner circle" of friends, who were of the same faith. At any rate, I came out with a bang and had no idea what it meant to be gay. My impressions of the gay world were what I was taught to believe while growing up. Because of this, I felt that I was a sexual deviant, as opposed to just a "gay man". The first gay person I met was in a bar and was less than virtuous. I followed in his footsteps, thinking that this was the "norm" in the community.
Now that I am almost 40, I look back at my perception of the gay world and wonder if it would have been different, had I had a mentor to show me the "real" gay world. I am assuming I would have been a little more balanced and less risky. I think that it is very important that we have someone like Dr. Corvino that talks about this subject. I also believe that it is up to all of us to mentor others, so that they may learn from our experiences.
I was a very ignorant 21 year old and I am still learning how the ''real world" works. Some of my previous impressions haunt me to this day, but thank god I did eventually find someone to mentor me.
To read more on this story, visit http://365gay.com
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Gays in the Military
Whether or not congress decides to repeal the "Don't Ask Don't Tell" policy, we still need to think about those who have served and lost everything.
Tony's Disability - Para Lymph Fistula
Some have wondered what has been going on in our lives for the last 4 years. Here is a short synopsis, lol.After we lost the restaurant (2005 - 2006), we moved in with Bob's parents and I went to work for Longs Drug.We lost both houses, a boat and both trucks and our pride for about 2 seconds. After licking our wounds for 2 seconds, we forgot about the bad decisions we made and moved forward.Over the next 2 years (2006-2008), I worked at Long's while Bob worked several temp jobs, while still living with Bob's parents. I did not want to be back in retail and Bob was not having any luck getting his high paying job back with the State, due to cutbacks.Bob comes home one day and Say's let's get our Class A license and travel the country in an 18 wheeler...LOL..Picture me driving a big ass truck.So in March of 2008 we graduated from truck driving school and tested at DMV to get our federal commercial drivers licenses'. For the next 8 months we traveled the country and got paid well to do it, twas the best of both worlds and had our dog (KC) with us too.So here I am driving down the road in a cushy 18 wheeler with a 53 foot 80 thousand pound trailer behind me, cruising to Eddie Money in upper New York somewhere., when suddenly the white and the yellow line on the road come together to a point...Needless to say it scared the poop out of me. We were on our way back to California for our once a month 3 day home time, but it would be 5 more days till we got there.I figured that this was a one time vertigo experience and that would be the end of it..But no., it happened again, then again and more frequently as the days passed.As soon as we got home to California, I went to rapid care to see a doctor. Here is where the fun begins..The attending physician comes into the room and asks what my symptoms are..So I tell her what happened while I was driving..Alarmed at my symptoms she immediately does an EKG to monitor my heart...She says my heart is fine, but I need to contact my regular doctor. So I went to see my doctor the next day..My doctor tells me that I cant go back to work as a truck driver until he does more tests. So.,,,,,Bob goes back on the road 3 days later after our scheduled home time and I stay behind to get the tests done. To make a long story shorter, here is what happens. Over the next 3 months I am sent to see a Neurologist, Cardiologist, Vascular Specialist, Radiologist and have 3 more EKG's, an Ultrasound, 2 MRA's, 1 MRI cat scan, Echo cardiogram and 42 blood tests. When all the tests are complete my doctor pulls me into his office and says "You are in perfect health".This is good to know Doc., but I am still having balance problems and I cant make the world around me stop spinning. Good grief....at this point he starts to try different drugs on me., so he put me on Zoloft, Wellbuterin, and a few other anti-depressants. But doc, im not depressed, LOL. Family and friends said just see if they work, so I tried all of them...Finally disgusted with being drugged up, I stopped and demanded that my doctor send me to an Ear Specialist.2 weeks later, he finally referred me to an ENT (ear nose and throat) doctor.By this time., I had lost my health insurance and Werner (Trucking Co that I worked for) had fired me and Bob was still alone on the road.So I paid for COBRA for 1 month, to see if this ENT can help me.Well., be praised, the ENT scheduled an ENG right away, which looks at the inner ear. He also called my doctor and ripped him a new one for putting me on drugs, lol.So, I had the ENG within a week and he found the issue right away., I have a Para lymph Fistula in my inner ear, which means a slow leak.I have been on State Disability (SDI) since December of 2008 and am being considered for permanent (SSI) disability.There are a few exploratory, controversial surgeries that can be done, but the county will not pay for experimental surgeries...My ENT says even if he can find the hole, he does not know if he can repair it and I may go deaf if he tries. We have decided that it is not worth the risk, so am not opting for surgery at this time.In the mean time, I have to concentrate so hard on my balance that I get fatigued really easy, which makes it difficult to go anywhere. A simple trip to the grocery store exhausts me, so I have Bob do it.All said and done, I am fine, I am just learning to live with it and overcome...
Monday, July 13, 2009
God forbid! Kissing in Public?
We get so wrapped up in living our everyday lives, that we sometimes forget that we are gay. We are reminded quickly when a stranger from across the room points, giggles, or stares. When I see a cute couple in a Restaurant I think to myself "how cute". When others see my partner and I just talking, they think "Sodom and Gomorrah". Not only do they think this, but sometimes will say it out loud, just loud enough for you to hear it.
It is becoming more acceptable now, but I still remember a simple kiss between two woman on Rosanne had to be aired after 9pm (due to adult content). The same afternoon, General Hospital was showing two half naked str8 people in bed.
It is becoming more acceptable now, but I still remember a simple kiss between two woman on Rosanne had to be aired after 9pm (due to adult content). The same afternoon, General Hospital was showing two half naked str8 people in bed.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Tony's post on 365gay.com
Discrimination is a part of our lives and we must fight to abolish it. Unfortunately, this alleged discrimination is targeting a Homosexual and a Female. Our society has treated females in the work place like crap since the beginning of time and her being "gay" just adds to the hate factor. I personally do not identify with a female, a lesbian, a bi-sexual, or a transgender person. However, since we are few and we all need to be treated with respect, we must band together and fight this hate. I don't care how many letters of the Alphabet I wear on my T-shirt (LGBT., F, Z, W., etc.,) nor do I care which minority group I belong to. I do care about one thing and that is this; all members of the human race shall be treated equally.
Gay Jehovah's Witness?
Are you a Jehovah's Witness, Catholic, or a Mormon and GLBT? If so, we would like to hear your story. You can read Tony's story about growing up as a Jehovah's Witness at twistedpride.com. As always, you may also send us a discreet email, to tell us your story un-published at bobandtony@twistedpride.com
Gay Military
Are you gay and have served, or are currently serving in the United States Military? If so, we would like to hear from you. Please tell us your story, the longer the better and don't be shy! You can read Bob's United States Air Force story by visiting http://twistedpride.com.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Gay UK News
I added a new link in our Gay Resources and Support section. The site is http://gayuknews.com and you will find all sorts of useful information, such as gay news and upcoming pride events etc.,.
Enjoy
Enjoy
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Gay Jehovah Witness
Yes, I was born a Jehovah Witness and I have a story to tell. Please visit http://twistedpride.com and read my story.
Massachusetts Sues Feds
Massachusetts to sue feds over the law that defines marriage as a union between a man and a woman. I am anxious to see how this plays out, especially with the new administration in the White House. Not that Obama will have a direct roll in the law suit, but he will have an opinion that I am anxious to hear. What do you think?
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Gay Bankruptcy for Couples
Bob and I filed bankruptcy a few years ago, after we spent our retirement to keep our Restaurant/Bar afloat. That is an entirely different story, for another time. Today I wanted to tell you what happened when we hired an attorney.
Here we are broke and can barley afford to hire a lawyer or pay the court fee for filing. Because we are not "married" the California Bankruptcy Court requires that we file separate. Keep in mind that for the last 15 years all of our assets are in both names (checking, savings, mortgage,car, boat, etc.,). Because we have to file separate it means double the fee. This was bad enough, but since the court required that we file separate, our attorney had to open 2 different separate files on us and charge us like we were two separate people that walked into her office. So, not only did we pay double to the court to file, we paid double for the attorney for representation.
Equal Rights? I think not!
Tony
Here we are broke and can barley afford to hire a lawyer or pay the court fee for filing. Because we are not "married" the California Bankruptcy Court requires that we file separate. Keep in mind that for the last 15 years all of our assets are in both names (checking, savings, mortgage,car, boat, etc.,). Because we have to file separate it means double the fee. This was bad enough, but since the court required that we file separate, our attorney had to open 2 different separate files on us and charge us like we were two separate people that walked into her office. So, not only did we pay double to the court to file, we paid double for the attorney for representation.
Equal Rights? I think not!
Tony
Gay filing "Married Joint" Taxes?
I know tax season is long gone, but I had to share with you the way we file our income taxes. Bob and I are registered in California as Domestic Partners. Because of this DP affiliation, we were required to file our state returns as "married joint", even though we are not married. We still filed our federal returns as single, because this is the law. It seems to me that the right hand does not know what the left hand is doing. I find a little humor in knowing that California is just making it harder on the IRS and the Fed's, by throwing more tax loophole rules into place (for us gays). Has anyone else experienced the same kind of tax issues, due to their states odd gay marriage regulations?
Tony
Tony
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Website up and running
Our website http://twistedpride.com is up and running. Please stop by and read our stories. More updates soon. Please be sure to sign our guestbook.
Bob and Tony
Bob and Tony
Friday, July 3, 2009
Grrr
Finally ready to publish our website and go live, but their servers are down for a few hours due to a wildfire. Hopefully we will be up shortly.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Welcome
Bob and Tony would like to welcome you to their blog, Twistedpride. Please visit our website Twistedpride.com and read our stories about coming out and living life. We would also like to hear stories from others as well. If you have a story you would like to share, please post them on this blog. If you would like to tell us your story without posting it, email us at Bobandtony@twistedpride.com
Bob and Tony
Bob and Tony
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