Domestic Partners Registry

Interested in registering a domestic partnership in California? Read this first:

Provisions governing domestic partnerships are found in the California Family Code http://www.sos.ca.gov/dpregistry/

LGBTQ Youth Shelter

The Ali Forney Center is the nation’s largest organization dedicated to homeless LGBT youth. AFC currently provides eight residential sites offering emergency shelter and longer-term housing, and additionally provides two drop-in centers which offer medical care, mental health treatment, HIV prevention, testing and treatment, housing and benefit assistance, and job training and placement services. The mission of the Ali Forney Center is to help homeless LGBT youth be safe and become independent as they move from adolescence to adulthood. Ali Forney was a queer youth who was murdered on the streets in 1997, when there was no safe shelter for LGBT youth in NYC.

Learn more and visit their website http://www.aliforneycenter.org/

Medical Decisions for Gay Partners

I wanted to share a little information that might help, in case you ever find yourself in a medical emergency situation with your spouse. I'm not sure that this is available outside of California, but you can pick up the form at any Kaiser hospital. The form is called "Advance Health Care Directive" and it only needs to be signed by two witnesses. My partner and I had ours notarized, to play it safe. This form comes in a wallet size version as well, to tell paramedics who is in charge of your medical decisions if you were found unconscious. We made copies of the original and placed them with other family members as well, in case they make it to the hospital first. You can also designate a second person to make decisions on your behalf if one needs to be made immediately and you have not arrived yet.

Yes, it is a pain in the a** that we have to provide so much paperwork, but this might help. After 16 years together, we are willing to make a huge scene in the hospital if anyone even dares question one of us.

I hope this helps.
Tony

Gay to Straight Therapy?

The American Psychological Association declared last week that mental health professionals should not tell gay clients they can become straight through therapy or other treatments.

In a resolution adopted on a 125-to-4 vote by the APA’s governing council, and in a comprehensive report based on two years of research, the 150,000-member association put itself firmly on record in opposition of so-called “reparative therapy” which seeks to change sexual orientation.

No solid evidence exists that such change is likely, says the report, and some research suggests that efforts to produce change could be harmful, inducing depression and suicidal tendencies. Read the full story at http://www.365gay.com
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All I can say to this is DUH!!

Gay Teen Suicide

Trust me when I say "Your life is worth living", no matter how bad it seems now. Do you feel alone, isolated, and generally worthless? I made it through my "teenage" years alone with no one to talk to, but you don't have to. The Trevor Project has many resources and people to talk to, free! Click on the Trevor Project link to the left and talk to someone now!

Tony http://twistedpride.com

Gay's Religious Identity

Hmmm!
Where does that put me in the scheme of things? I consider myself a Christian because I believe in God and Christ. However, I believe that the Bible is a work of fiction and written by men who wanted to control the greater population. I am not an atheist, because I believe in God. Does this make me an agnostic or am I just confused?

I do adhere to the 10 commandments, I just can't swallow most of the Bible (I have read several different versions).

My religious friends (Mormon, Jewish, Muslim, Catholic) say that they love me and will not judge me, because that is God's job. These same friends still believe that I am going to hell though, because of what the Bible says. This sounds like a contradiction to me.
?

This was my response to an article I read at http://365gay.com

Crossing the Hate Speech Line

Our constitution protects freedom of speech. Is that line crossed when it includes physical violence, or when it hurts someones feelings? Can I sue my neighbor for calling me "Fag", or do I have to wait until he hits me over the head with a shovel?

Freedom of Speech

Freedom of speech in the United States is protected by the First Amendment to the United States Constitution and by many state constitutions and state and federal laws. Criticism of the government and advocacy of unpopular ideas that people may find distasteful or against public policy, such as racism, are generally permitted. There are exceptions to the general protection of speech, however, including the Miller test for obscenity, child pornography laws, and regulation of commercial speech such as advertising. Other limitations on free speech often balance rights to free speech and other rights, such as property rights for authors and inventors (copyright), interests in "fair" political campaigns (Campaign finance laws), protection from imminent or potential violence against particular persons (restrictions on Hate speech or fighting words), or the use of untruths to harm others (slander). Distinctions are often made between speech and other acts which may have symbolic significance. Efforts have been made to ban flag desecration, for example, though currently that act remains protected speech.
When do you think this right's line is crossed?

International Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce

The International Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce (IGLCC) is pleased to unveil the results of the first edition of the International Business Equality Index. The Index is a measurement of the performance of multinational corporations in relation to Diversity and Inclusion issues specifically focusing on Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) communities in the countries where they operate. The leading corporations are BT Group, followed by IBM and The Dow Chemical Company. The announcement was made at a press conference during the closing of the IGLCC Second Annual Congress in Copenhagen.

The corporations participating in this year’s Index are: AMR (the parent company of American Airlines, Inc. and American Eagle), BT Group, Cisco Systems, The Dow Chemical Company, IBM, ING, Intel, KPMG, Kraft Food, Merck, Novartis, Philips, SAP, TNT and UBS. They represent 1.7 million employees in 227 countries and sales of USD 800 Billion a year.

Read the full story at http://www.ilga-europe.org/

Shelter your children?

I agree with JarinAmin...
As a Jehovah's Witness growing up, I was sheltered from the "real world" and had little to no interaction with peers because they were "bad association". I was taken out of the public school system around 5th grade and home-schooled through high school. Because of this, it was very difficult to understand the "real world" when I finally went off on my own. Needless to say, I found myself very ignorant on a plethora of topics and still struggle with my viewpoints to this day.

Taking a child out of reality may do some irreversible harm to their social skills....
Tony

This is in response to an article I read about on-line gay high school at http://www.365gay.com/news/online-gay-friendly-high-school-launching-in-january/

Gay Boy Scouts?

I'm a little curious about this subject. Does anyone know about the Boy Scout's of America policies? Do they now allow members of the LGBT community? Were you a member and were you chastised or kicked out? If you have a story, we would like to hear about it. Please leave a comment if you have information or a story.
Thanks!

Burundian Homosexuals Suffer Under New Anti-Gay Law

A story brought to you by http://voanews.com/
The Voice of America is among the world’s most trusted sources of news and information.

Homosexuals in Burundi say that their lives have been marked with increased discrimination and fear following the East African country's move to ban homosexual practices. Burundi officially passed the law criminalizing homosexuality in April this year.

The interviews conducted by the advocacy group Human Rights Watch documents the difficulties of being a gay or lesbian in Burundi, including instances of sexual violence, family rejection, police intimidation, and now the daily possibility of imprisonment.

Seventy-seven countries in the world have laws against homosexuality, many of them in Africa.

Read the full story here http://www.voanews.com/english/2009-08-03-voa31.cfm?rss=human%20rights%20and%20law

Colors of the Rainbow Flag

Did you know?

The original flag had eight stripes from top to bottom: pink (sexuality), red (life), orange (healing), yellow (sunlight), green (nature), turquoise (magic), indigo/blue (serenity), and violet (spirit). Within a year, the flag had shed two of its stripes—pink and violet. According to Gilbert, they "ran out of pink dye." The violet stripe was later taken out to create an even number of stripes on the flag.Since, many variations of the flag have been created. For instance, a black stripe is added to some symbolizing those lost to AIDS. There are also variations to represent bisexual people, bears and others.

My Favorite You Tube Personality - Nick Pitera

Separate but Equal?

Free-Gay-Pride-Poster-Separate-But-Equal-Heterosex by jenjbee
More Gay Posters

Gay Safe Space

Project 10 Youth Pride T-Shirt by cathycanney
Browse Lgbt T-Shirts

LGBTQ Youth Summer Camp

I found a great resource for LGBTQ youth and I thought I would share it with you. I have added this link to the Gay Resources and Support section.
http://www.camptentrees.org

If You Can Marry, Should You?

From the Nolo.com Marriage & Living Together Center. Copyright 2000 Nolo.com, Inc.

Added a new link today from http://www.civillywedd.com/

If same-sex marriage is ever legalized, you and your partner will need to decide whether marriage is right for you. Here are some things to think about before you pop the question.If you have children or hope to raise a family, marriage is probably the right option. Married couples by law have equal rights to raise their children, as well as equal obligations of support. In a divorce, both parents can seek visitation and custody, and if one parent dies the other one steps right in as the primary legal parent. It is nearly impossible to make these sorts of arrangements absent a legal marriage.Marriage isn't a prerequisite for owning property together, but if you get married, in most situations in most states your property will be jointly owned regardless of who pays for it. This is the reverse of the presumption that applies to unmarried couples. Getting married may be the most efficient way of establishing a property merger -- though if keeping things separate is more to your taste, you will have to sign a prenuptial agreement to avoid the joint ownership presumptions of a legal marriage.In most states, each married spouse's earnings are owned by the two of you, and if the marriage breaks up -- regardless of who's at fault -- you each generally get half of everything you've accumulated. By contrast, if you are unmarried, your property is co-owned only if you have an agreement to that effect; likewise for debts and obligations. Divorcing couples are also entitled to demand alimony if the marriage doesn't last, without the need for any explicit contract providing for post-separation support.Every marriage requires a formal ceremony, and every marital separation requires some kind of formal court action, and quite often the help of a lawyer. Unmarried couples can break up informally, on their own terms.Absent a legal marriage, a couple needs to sign several agreements to create even a partial framework of protection in the event of death, and certain tax benefits are forever denied to unmarried couples. If you are married, however, the surviving spouse generally inherits all the property if the partner dies without a will. At death, a bequest from one spouse to another is tax free, regardless of its size.Transfers of property upon dissolution of the relationship are also tax free for legally married couples, but not for unmarrieds.Marriage can bestow a bevy of important benefits, including military or Social Security benefits, health care, and nursing home coverage. Marriage may also qualify you for unpaid leave from your job under the Family Leave Act. But watch out -- a married person's income could disqualify a spouse from receiving Social Security, welfare, or medical benefits she'd receive if she was unmarried.A legal marriage is the only reliable method of providing a foreign lover with the privileges of immigration to this country, when he doesn't qualify under work or other provisions of the Immigration Act.If you are ever allowed to make this difficult decision, first decide whether you fall into one of the got-to-marry or better-not-marry situations. Raising kids, courting a foreign lover, or facing a serious illness, for example, generally favors a marriage (unless it disqualifies you for Medicaid), whereas getting saddled with your partner's debts or losing Social Security benefits probably favors a no vote.If you don't fall into either extreme, take a close look at the marital property rules for your particular state, evaluate the benefits given your personal situation, and get a good sense of what being married would do for you financially. Then consider whether being married feels right for both of you emotionally. If the answers come back positive for both of you, then proceed, but consider creating a prenuptial agreement if any aspect of the traditional marriage structure doesn't meet your needs. If the impact of marriage feels unduly negative for one or both of you, however, hold off. The push for legalizing same-sex marriage isn't likely to make marriage mandatory. http://nolo.com Copyright 2000 Nolo.com, Inc.

Religion and Murderous Hate Crimes

More people have killed in the name of "Religion" or "God" than any other motive on the planet and have done so since the beginning of the human race. I know a ton of very good "religious people" who would agree with me. It makes me sick to my stomach to even put the words "God" and "Religion" in the same sentence. There is nothing wrong with people worshiping in his/her own way and sharing their views with others, until it crosses the line. That line is crossed when they start campaigning to take away human rights from other people. Not only do they attempt to take away rights, they attempt to kill certain groups to "cleanse" our society. Hitler comes to mind.

Winds are shifting?

This past Saturday we went to my niece's wedding with 150 people in attendance. About 90% of the guest list were in their early 20's and some still in High School. The other 10% were mostly over 40, including us (well almost 40 :) ).
It was very interesting to observe people's reactions to 2 gay men together at a str8 wedding. While most of the older crowed stared and whispered, the younger crowd did not even seem to notice us at all. It may just be that they were too busy partying, but I would like to think that the younger generation are less ignorant than their parents.
It was a wonderful wedding and we felt very comfortable attending. After almost 16 years together, it was a little sad not being able to attend our own wedding. However, we see hope in the younger generation and maybe someday that will be us exchanging vows.
Cheers!

Domestic Partnership Woes

What a pain in the a** this is. My partner and I are registered in California as domestic partners, because we thought it would help. Instead, it created loop-holes that apply to everything we try to do. It is better than nothing, but still not as powerful as a "marriage license". We still had to register medical power's of attorney, because a domestic partnership can be contested. We had to file bankruptcy in 2006 and were required to file separately (doubling the cost), because we were not "married". We are required to file State taxes as "married", but still file "single" on our federal returns, which raises our accountant costs because of the added paperwork. I am disabled and would qualify for assistance, if not for my spouses income. If it benefits local, county, state, or federal interests then we are considered "spouses"., but if its for our benefit we are told "you are not married" thus treated as separate. Crazy!
Marriage or civil union? I don't really care what they call it, as long as it is legally recorded and recognized as the same, countrywide.

LGBT Postage

Gay Blades by Admurray
Make Zazzle custom stamps with zazzle.com

Gay Youth follow up

We added a new link this morning for LGBTQ youth support. The mental health of children is extremely important, so we did not want this resource to go un-noticed. Please take a minute and visit this blog http://queeryouthmentalhealth.wordpress.com/ and pass it on to others who may find the information helpful.
Tony

Gay Marriage in California

I guess we missed the "window" of opportunity, however we are pleased that some couples are equal under the law. We have been together for almost 16 years and have talked often about getting married. Timing is everything, so we will just sit and wait until the right moment arrives. Congratulations to all the "legally married" gay couples in California.

If you are interested in our story, visit us at http://twistedpride.com/

Bob and Tony