Gay's and the Church

A story from http://365gay.com/
Some of the fears of the anti-gay movement are based on assumptions that have nothing to do with what we’re actually working towards. How do we explain ourselves in a way that people who are so far outside the LGBT culture can understand?
I mentioned on Wednesday that I think part of the fear of the gay rights movement comes from looking at rights like poker chips, with only so many that can be parceled out.
I don’t know how to change that viewpoint except to let time take its course – get married and let people notice that 20 years later straight couples are still allowed to do so as well.
In way, though, Brown is correct in thinking that, as the rest of the population becomes more comfortable with the LGBT community, a few – a very few – of what he currently thinks of as rights may be curtailed. And they are all in the “your right to swing your arm ends where my nose begins” category.
Yes, more public schools may start teaching tolerance of their LGBT students. I think creating a safe learning atmosphere for all students is a reasonable goal for a school system.
If a parent believes that homosexuality is wrong, that should be taught at home and in church, just as other religious principles should be.
Suggesting that schools shouldn't demand respectful treatment of their LGBT students – or straight students with LGBT parents – is equivalent to objecting when schools teach that girls have the right to go to calculus class without being sexually harassed along the way.
Insisting on respect for all students isn’t something that Brown and friends are going to like, and though I understand that having a longstanding cultural privilege taken away causes anxiety, I feel like this belongs pretty firmly in the “suck it up and deal” category.
How, though, do we make the anti-gay contingent understand that teaching tolerance is not the same thing as “teaching homosexuality”? All too many people really believe that teaching children that there is nothing wrong with being gay is the same thing as teaching them to be gay.
While researching for this piece, I saw more than one blog claim that public schools are going to require children to attend fisting workshops – or have already.
I think we can all agree that fisting should be an elective, can’t we?
But it does seem to be an honest anxiety of the anti-gay movement: That somehow demanding tolerance and the right to live openly is just the first step of a plan to turn straight people gay.
From our point of view, that’s silly. How do we explain that in a way that they can accept and understand?
In my correspondence with Brown (and yes, Dr. Brown, I owe you an e-mail), it became clear that he sees his demonstrations at Pride to be in some way equivalent to the Pride events themselves.
Since a protest of a gay event is essentially a recruiting drive – stop this misguided thing you’re doing and come join us – yes, I can see that there might be some anxiety if one assumes that a Pride event is asking the same thing.
How do we explain to the anti-gay movement that the overwhelming majority of people in the LGBT community don’t think you can turn someone gay?
We wouldn’t run a recruiting drive because we don’t think one would work. How do we get the frightened people on the other side to understand that?
I think the “When did you choose to be straight?” answer may work when you’re using it with someone who is totally, unwaveringly straight. But, as the “ex-gay” industry shows, there are people in the anti-gay movement who are desperately fighting against unwanted same-sex urges.
We see those people as people who were born gay, bi, or transgendered and are, perhaps sadly, fighting their true natures. As far as I can tell, they see themselves as people who were meant to be straight, who have somehow failed in having those urges at all, and who will fail even worse if they give into them.
Personally, I think it’s the fear of giving in to those “bad” urges that fuels a lot of the anger that seems to be a part the anti-gay movement. It’s the Yoda principle: Fear turns to anger; anger to hatred.
To someone who’s protesting at a Pride celebration because he’s fighting what he may see as evil – and difficult to resist – desires, maybe the happy, rainbow-painted faces do look like they’re part of a recruiting drive. How do we convince him that the Altoids float full of hot guys in Speedos means “Hooray!” and not “Get over here…”?
I’m not saying that it’s our job to make other people like us so that please maybe they’ll give us some rights.
But it is in our best interest to find, if we possibly can, a way of communicating what we really think in a way they can understand. And we need to be able to do so compassionately enough that the other side feels ready to listen.
I don’t have an answer. Maybe there isn’t one – not understanding us keeps fuel on the fire, and there are plenty of people who don’t want it to go out. But I don’t want to believe that about most people.
And that’s why, at least for now, I will try to keep up my correspondence with Michael Brown. There has to be a way to communicate, even with people who seem to be so different.
-----------------
Tony:
Our Constitution was created to protect all of us, thus the reason for "Separation of Church and State". It is sad to see that the "Churches" have more political clout than the law does, but it has always been this way.
I propose a DADT policy for all religions that wish to cause harm on other people. I don't care if someone hates me because I am gay, however I do care if they wish to hurt me based on that alone.
I am more concerned about the children growing up in households with this kind of hatred. Do you know how it feels to be only 11 years old and thinking you are going to hell because you are gay? It sure puts a damper on your future outlook and shapes your every day life well into adulthood.
Thank goodness for modern technology; Internet savvy kids will at least have a chance to know that they are not alone.
We are not going to change church doctrines that are written in stone, however we can change the minds of people by the way we present ourselves in public.
Side note: Next time someone tells you that a gay pride parade is disgusting, direct their attention to Mardi Gras, where all (gay and str8) are being promiscuous in the public streets.