When I came out, I was not so fortunate. I was sheltered from most of the world by my parents and was confined to an "inner circle" of friends, who were of the same faith. At any rate, I came out with a bang and had no idea what it meant to be gay. My impressions of the gay world were what I was taught to believe while growing up. Because of this, I felt that I was a sexual deviant, as opposed to just a "gay man". The first gay person I met was in a bar and was less than virtuous. I followed in his footsteps, thinking that this was the "norm" in the community.
Now that I am almost 40, I look back at my perception of the gay world and wonder if it would have been different, had I had a mentor to show me the "real" gay world. I am assuming I would have been a little more balanced and less risky. I think that it is very important that we have someone like Dr. Corvino that talks about this subject. I also believe that it is up to all of us to mentor others, so that they may learn from our experiences.
I was a very ignorant 21 year old and I am still learning how the ''real world" works. Some of my previous impressions haunt me to this day, but thank god I did eventually find someone to mentor me.
To read more on this story, visit http://365gay.com
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ReplyDeleteSo, what you wrote got me thinking about the way I grew up too and I think that regardless of sexual orientation, when kids grow up sheltered to an EXTREME and then get released out into the real world, they have NO SKILLS to deal with the environment. When kids grow up this way, parents are doing them a serious injustice! You mentioned that things should have been more "balanced and less risky". Exactly! I know I made mistakes that could have/should have been avoided if I had just had a little guidance on how to deal with REAL life issues!
This is probably why I *try* to talk so openly with my kids about sex/drugs/alcohol, etc. I think I drive them crazy with our little "talks" .. LOL! But, I feel I have to! One example ... Sex is a perfectly natural behavior and kids need to know how to protect themselves from disease, unwanted pregnancy, predators, etc. so they can have an enjoyable, balanced, and SAFE sex life as young adults!
I like your idea on mentoring others. I’m glad you survived those rough years in the beginning … with everything you’ve been through, you will make a great mentor to someone!
Thank you Jade :)All we can do is try.Something good always comes from something bad, so we move forward, instead of backwards. I think education at a young age is very important. Sheltering children will just cause them to rebel to the extreme. Regardless of what you do as a parent, your kids will rebel and make mistakes. Hopefully, by being open and honest with them about the "world" around them, they will make minor mistakes. Instead of just telling them NO, they deserve a reason why and the consequences of their actions.When your told "Don't have sex until you are married" without an explanation, it makes a child very curious. Instead, a child needs to know what sex is, what it is used for and what could possibly happen if you engage in or abuse it. With this information, a child is more likely to think about the consequences first and not explore to the "extreme".Communication applies to every aspect of our lives and it is especially important while shaping a child's mind. This will ensure that the child keeps the line of communication open well into his/her adult life and it will make their relationships that much stronger.
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